I think you hit the nail on the head in the last paragraph, to be honest, and, frankly, I respect your honesty in saying that.

So how long did it take you to cope with your decision given that you knew what you were getting into some 20 years ago, went for it anyway, only to change your mind later?

I can't imagine that was an easy decision - probably a lot of guilt involved on your part.

Not that it's any of my business at all.

Something else to come away from your story is that the situation you found yourself in is the situation that has been fought for by the earlier feminists -- gender equality in that we can share or trade those burdens and society should accept that (Dad being homemaker, Mom being breadwinner etc).

Women often complained that they were expected to raise kids, handle household while men worked, etc. They felt it was unfair, and I agree with them to a large extent that it was.

But then when the reality of that 'role' comes into play, the reality tends to be much different than the fantasy.

At any rate - you gave it a go and it didn't work out. I guess it just sucks that it took so long for you to finally be at peace with it. But, that's something I'm sure you've reconciled within yourself, so I shouldn't judge anyway.

Thanks for the response!